New Issue!! L-O-V-E??
Ok, all right.. Ehem ehem. People, i got something to talk about. It’s just sooo hard to even describe how i thought about this. Here it is:
About one week ago, i was thinking about a question i had in mind, which was:
‘Why do two people, man and woman, can stay for a very long time in a relationship? What makes them wanna survive this thing, for no matter what?’
I think in such a relationship, there are hard commitments, sacrifice, limitations, moments of gross things done by the partner, future visions. It’s a big yes from me that i see romance, but it seems like some couples may fail to keep it, while others succeed.
Many why’s still dominate my mind.
Well, to be frank, on a whole night, i was really upset because of someone. He… is my FWB. Do you know this abbreviation? It’s more familiar here in Indonesia, tanah airku tercinta, with TTM or HTS. Hohohoho (for those who don’t know this yet, FWB stands for ‘friends with benefit’). So much to talk about on this guy because he’s soooooo complicated and un-describe-able. On his birthday couples of week ago, he said that he expected some present from me to show that i care to him. For the fact that i didn’t, he felt like i’m not an attentive ‘girlfriend’ and gave me a very long speech at my conversation with him on a phonecall one night. He emphasized his expectations for me to be more care to him. Before that, i’m telling you that i’m a type of independent woman: used and getting used to go everywhere alone for everything– of coure except for parties, and so is he. So, in this relationship, we only have few and little time to spend together because we both have different business and interest to do (i think you might ask why we were attracted to each other, right?). Unlike other couples you meet who always go everywhere together, we only go out for movies maybe once a week, and about 3-4 times a week to have dinner together. Don’t imagine some romantic dinner either.. We like the relationship we have right now.. we think this is the best way to find out whether this feeling between us is really love, not only for a moment, and we’re comfortable in staying this way–living in separate ways together. But now, he demands attention from me, a lady who live independently. This kinda makes me a little bit crazy: ‘What does he want from me? If i’m just his FWB, why does he expect sooo much from me? Is within him, i’ve turned from just a FWB to a ‘real’ girlfriend?’ I do my style in my relationships, but being really attentive isn’t me as a FWB. I still wanna do everything i like without asking for someone’s permission and not doing responsibility as a partner. With this kind of relationship, why do i have to??
Actually, this thing makes me think ‘Is this the real relationship: big demands from a partner?’ Well, it’s hard for me to do such things. Then, what makes a person sacrifice his/her wishes to serve the partner?
Now, lets get the big picture.
I interviewed some friends. All of them were confused what to answer, but after a few minutes of thinking, they had to tell me something. First friend told me that communication makes two people stay in a relationship because they always need each other to tell about everything they have in life. Second friend said that she can’t answer because of the abstract and complicated factor of my question. Third friend said that there’s commitment between them. So, what’s so great about a commitment? How does this thing makes more than 1,000,000,000 couples worldwide decided to spend their lives together?
I know the answer, a simple word called LOVE.
What’s love then?
How this love keep people live happily ever after?
This actually still stay in my mind, even until now. I really have no idea about this because i see everybody makes relationships, and then screw it in many ways. I see many happy couples as well, but not that numerous. I don’t have good direct examples to show me the way. I know that love exists, but is this really love?
I’ve seen ‘The Notebook’ for many times, and i cried (yay, i have to say this). In that film, love came from first sight and it lasted forever. Hm, this film really change my thoughts about love.
Now i keep on figuring out what love is..
The last film i saw lately (before There Will Be Blood actually), Before Sunset, have a line that i noticed:
I mean, what is love, right, if it’s not respect, trust, admiration?
..and i realize i can’t live like this that there’s gotta be more to love than commitment. But then i think that i might have given up on the whole idea of romantic love that i might put it to bed that, that day you weren’t there.
Hahaha.. actually, this film describes my thoughts on love best. Give a time to watch it some time. Don’t be bored while watching, altough the whole movie only pictures a long conversation between two people, man and woman, who shared few romantic nights together long time ago, got separated, and then met again after 9 years without seeing or keeping in touch before. They talk about the life they have now, of course including love life. It’s an interesting movie after all..
That’s all about my confusion, and i need comments, thoughts, suggestions or anything from you, all my blog-readers. And i will appreciate everything you put in the comment columns.. just feel free to write anything, guys.
And for the coming post, after i get any idea or fresh thoughts, i will (once again) write on this. Amiiin.
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